I don’t understand why you would treat your in-laws better than you treat your own blood.
It sounds so primitive to prioritize blood relations. I know family is more than originating from the same lineage, there are people I call family whom I’m not related to. There are wonderful adoptive parents, and abusive biological ones. Those that are deserving, and those who are not. Your mother falls in neither category. No doubt she has her flaws, but her love for you is very tangible, very real, witnessed by everyone who knows the both of you.
So why do you treat her the way you do? With disrespect and dishonor, with curt words and a sharp tongue, with cold wars and stares that look through her. I would be less puzzled if that was just who you were as a person - rude, ungrateful, mean spirited and one to hold grudges. But you’re not. I’ve seen you with your in-laws. You are a lovely person with them, you are kind, considerate, you show respect to the elders of that family. Why? Do you feel that they have treated you better and are hence more deserving? Does familiarity breed that much contempt that you think you can get away with how you behave? Or is the person they see a mask, and I do actually know what type of person you are.
Back to my base and primitive logic, should you not be grateful that you are alive because of her? Does her blood not run through your veins? Does that not go beyond your ideas of being ‘deserving’ of respect? Explain to me please, because I simply don’t get it.
