And so it begins
I don’t know about you, but for me it’s never the *big* things. The deaths, the break ups, the subsequent anniversaries (or lack thereof), I think I handle those pretty well. It’s always the small seemingly insignificant things that hit the hardest and leave me completely winded. It’s the lead up to *THAT DAY* that slowly kills me – the anticipation, the sick worry and fear that it’s going to be so much worse this time around – so that when the day actually does arrive, it seems so much easier to swallow and I end up thinking “Oh that’s it?”
Every year the cycle repeats itself. The small things appear out of the middle of no where and spring up every where. In the form of concert date of some Chinese singer that’s happening on his birthday, the scent of his perfume on some random stranger in the train, walking into the house and suddenly noticing that particular thing that was his that you normally never see but now it’s right there in front of you staring you in the face, a song that you danced to, stupid street signs and seeing a middle aged man asleep in the front seat of his car. And then the pain, that old friend. The kind that leaves you completely stunned, breathless, wondering what the flying fish was that thing that came up of no where and oh dear god now you just can’t breathe or move so you stand there, halfway to your office in the middle of the CBD drones trying to force yourself to move and not do anything that makes you look insane.
So that’s me. November is already here, standing and waiting to come in like a very pushy door to door sales man, or long lost relative who you are obliged to let in. It’s not exactly here yet, but I can feel it in the air. Maybe it won’t be so bad this year. Or maybe it will leave me on the floor huddled up in pain. But I know that just as it has to come, it will leave as well, and I will be fine. I think.
At least November brings with it Toffee Nut Latte hahaha. Hello, Christmas in a cup! <3
